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So here's the funny thing, when I added the MWB round-ups to my blog, I was pretty nervous. I was nervous about adding another writing commitment to the week (when I started the blog last year, my original goal was one post a month, and even that was pretty hit and miss). I was nervous about finding enough content to make the extra post worth people's time. Now I'm two months in, and I can't believe I was nervous about those pieces. My problem isn't finding enough good content, it's keeping the articles that I choose to a manageable number! Here's some of the good stuff that's out there this week. Enjoy.
I want to start with a new-to-me blog discovery: Living With Lupus, But Dying of Everything Else, by the articulate & passionate Dr. Snit. This blog was another reason I'm grateful to Twitter--I've been led to so much good content there! Her compassionate exploration of why we are good enough just as we are was one of my favorite reads of the week. I hope that you get as much from it as I did.
Ashley Solomon's Nourishing the Soul was one of the inspirations for MWB, and this week I couldn't pick just one of her posts. As a psychologist, I can't resist sharing Ashley's exploration of the role of insight in therapy. In addition, I think that she does a great job of taking on an important topic with her post on the "shame game," in which she looks at the negative impact of fat shaming on our overall health.
Jonathan Fields has appeared in MWB before. In addition to being a powerful writer, Jonathan has some pretty insightful things to say about the human experience in business and entrepreneurship. This week's post about grounding ourselves in a "heart-centered place" felt like it cut to the core of that experience.
It is not unusual for me to sit with someone who feels "run-over" by life, by the daily challenges, large & small that we all face. I know that when I am in that darker space, one of the ways that I both cope and damage my coping is by procrastinating--big tasks, small tasks, you name it. This piece from Dr. Pauline Wallin at the APA's Your Mind Your Body blog takes a kind look at why we procrastinate and how to change.
One of the themes that I seek out in my reading is understanding our relationship with our thinking mind. Tara Mohr engages that topic regularly in her Wise Living blog. This post encourages us to increase our awareness of how our minds can take over with unhelpful patterns--and provides some suggestions about how to change that.
And to round out this trio of articles on how we can increase our sense of presence and power in our current moments, I have another post by Rosie Molinary. She shares a simple writing exercise that can be used to increase mindfulness and lead to changes in our daily lives, by asking what we need--right now.
Did I miss your favorite article of the week? Let me know, so I can share!
Showing posts with label investment in self-care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label investment in self-care. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
What Makes Therapy Different?
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My first encounter with new clients is often over the phone. I spend a lot of time in those initial conversations, because reaching out for support is scary for most people. It's hard to admit that they feel overwhelmed, worn down, exhausted. It's hard to admit that they need more support, that they are craving a space where they feel safe and heard.
It seems like that first call is particularly hard for people who feel like they have strong social support networks. They have loving families, close friends, good co-workers. And it can be hard to articulate why that isn't always enough for someone who is in pain. I frequently hear clients talk about not wanting to "wear out" or "burden' their friends and family. They express frustration about "repeating myself over and over."
In many of these conversations, I explain to prospective clients that therapy is different from close relationships in several key ways:
1. Therapists aren't emotionally engaged in the client's life. This doesn't mean that therapists don't care about their client's well-being. However, there is a critical difference between being a caring outsider and a part of someone's emotional network. As the outsider, I bring a new perspective to the client's experience.
2. Therapists are trained to be comfortable with pain. I know that might initially read as sadistic, but stay with me for a minute. Think about someone you love. Now, imagine that person in pain, crying, hurting. What is your reflexive response to that pain? If you're like most caring family members or friends, your response is to try to alleviate the pain, to minimize it, to make it better. Here's the problem. Some things can't be "made better." Some pain can't be talked away. Sometimes, the way to deal with pain is to experience it, to walk through it, to learn from it. Sometimes we just need to cry--maybe more than once. We need the opportunity to learn what lesson our pain is bringing with it. Because my clients aren't my loved ones, I can create the space for them to experience their pain, even if it seems to take longer than they want it to.
3. You're paying to be in therapy. This means two things. First, if you need to repeat yourself, you're not going to "wear me out" or "burden" me. Sometimes we all need repetition to help us process. Second, that means that your session, your therapy space are all about what you need. Do you need to cry? No problem, I buy my tissues by the case. Do you need to be challenged, to have things reframed? I can handle that. It's your time. For the duration of your appointment, your needs and your health are center stage. I don't take other calls during session. I don't check email or my Twitter feed. Therapy is an investment in your own value.
Do you have questions about the therapy process? Please feel free to contact me, or leave your question in the comments.
My first encounter with new clients is often over the phone. I spend a lot of time in those initial conversations, because reaching out for support is scary for most people. It's hard to admit that they feel overwhelmed, worn down, exhausted. It's hard to admit that they need more support, that they are craving a space where they feel safe and heard.
It seems like that first call is particularly hard for people who feel like they have strong social support networks. They have loving families, close friends, good co-workers. And it can be hard to articulate why that isn't always enough for someone who is in pain. I frequently hear clients talk about not wanting to "wear out" or "burden' their friends and family. They express frustration about "repeating myself over and over."
In many of these conversations, I explain to prospective clients that therapy is different from close relationships in several key ways:
1. Therapists aren't emotionally engaged in the client's life. This doesn't mean that therapists don't care about their client's well-being. However, there is a critical difference between being a caring outsider and a part of someone's emotional network. As the outsider, I bring a new perspective to the client's experience.
2. Therapists are trained to be comfortable with pain. I know that might initially read as sadistic, but stay with me for a minute. Think about someone you love. Now, imagine that person in pain, crying, hurting. What is your reflexive response to that pain? If you're like most caring family members or friends, your response is to try to alleviate the pain, to minimize it, to make it better. Here's the problem. Some things can't be "made better." Some pain can't be talked away. Sometimes, the way to deal with pain is to experience it, to walk through it, to learn from it. Sometimes we just need to cry--maybe more than once. We need the opportunity to learn what lesson our pain is bringing with it. Because my clients aren't my loved ones, I can create the space for them to experience their pain, even if it seems to take longer than they want it to.
3. You're paying to be in therapy. This means two things. First, if you need to repeat yourself, you're not going to "wear me out" or "burden" me. Sometimes we all need repetition to help us process. Second, that means that your session, your therapy space are all about what you need. Do you need to cry? No problem, I buy my tissues by the case. Do you need to be challenged, to have things reframed? I can handle that. It's your time. For the duration of your appointment, your needs and your health are center stage. I don't take other calls during session. I don't check email or my Twitter feed. Therapy is an investment in your own value.
Do you have questions about the therapy process? Please feel free to contact me, or leave your question in the comments.
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